Beneath The Surface
by aroseforyou
Summary: whilst in New York for nationals feeling slightly insecure and out of place with her sudden situations, Rachel is with the Glee club and suddenly crosses paths with a long lost lover whose dreams had slightly slipped through his fingers...
1. Chapter 1

**So hey guys! Jessie and Rachel are my Glee OTP and I just really wanted to write a fan fiction for them! I hope you like it, please review! Feedback and idea suggestions will make me better ;)**

I always objected to taking the ugly yellow school bus to any sort of outing the Glee club had and was always either starred down by everyone or just ignored, which I didn't particularly respect at all. I sat at the very back by the window. During the long trip to New York I would do some major warm up vocals as this was the biggy. The one we've been waiting for and I for one am very _very _eager to kick some serious ass. Maybe there will even be superstar scouts and since I'll be singing the ballad with Finn I'm bound to stand out. Then again, even if I wasn't singing with Finn I would still probably get noticed. I put my earphones in a started purring. The rest of Glee club have gotten used to it now, whereas on our first trip they were literally throwing mashed up pieces of paper at me to be quiet. "Laaaaa, laaaaa, laaaaa, laaaaaaaa" I quietly giggled in amusement, at my performing each note perfectly. As usual of course. I was stunned when I felt someone's presence next to me. I pulled my earphones out as Finn smile softly at me. "Finn, hey" I greeted him. My stomach fluttered. Since regional's things had been very off between the two of us, which meant very awkward rehearsals. "Hey" He beamed. I fluttered my eyelashes as I wondered if had to lie to Quinn in order to talk to me.

"Does Quinn know you're over here?" I murmured looking out of the window. He paused. I heard him sigh. I was never insecure, but around him and her when it came to insecurity I was pretty much at rock bottom. However I could never tell anyone that. Except my diary. "Yeah she does… I thought maybe we could practice our duet" He shrugged, those sparking brown eyes screaming for everything to be okay between us. But deep down inside both of our souls we knew that such a thing wasn't possible. However I still accepted and so we practiced. I got my iPod speakers out of my pink bag and searched for Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. I knew Finn was a big fan of their music so I suggested it to Mr Schuester and when he heard us sing it he said it was perfect. Of course that was when my sole mission was the win back Finn, but I had slightly given up since him and Quinn have been inseparable for a good few months now. We sang to perfection. Although we were not romantically involved anymore the chemistry was very much still in tact. I could tell by the way his eyes glistened when I hit the extreme notes that only I and Mercedes we capable of in the club. Everyone was impressed by the effortlessness of it, even if they don't show it, but Finn is terrible at hiding his emotions and everyone can read him. I knew feelings still remained between us and maybe we should not set things in stone just yet, but I know were I stand in his life, and so long as it's not by his side holding his hand and having him whisper that he loves me I will not waste my time chasing him.

"That was great, really" Finn reassured biting his lips, a flush of rose spreading across his cheeks. I smiled and nodded in agreement. Then he bid goodbye and I watched as he steadily travelled over back to Quinn. My heart ached when he kissed her softly on the head and placed his arm around her. I shook my flipping my hair back. Don't beat yourself up about it, you're about to win this club the nationals trophy. And so, I listened to the songs and continuously went through the dance routines, until eventually we arrived at our destination, New York City.

Nationals isn't like Sectionals or Regionals. It was a four day process in which case we needed to stay at a hotel. We stood in the hotel lobby looking completely out of place as Mr Schuester signed us in. "Okay, we are signed in and ready to unpack" Mr Schuester announced. There was a cheer of relief. "But before you go I need to tell you who is in what room with who" Confusion clouded the group. I would usually be the one to release my anger out in a forward fashion first, but sometimes Mercedes beat me to the chase. "Oh hell no Mr Schuester" She said popping out a hip and snapping her fingers. Mr Schuester sighed. Now it was my turn. "I completely agree with Mercedes. Sharing rooms is just a riot waiting to happen! Especially if we're with someone we don't like" My eyes drifted to Quinn, but she was too involved in the gaze her and Finn were sharing. It then came to my attention that Mr Schuester's eyes were somewhere different. Everyone noticed and followed his stare. I rolled my eyes. "Puck! What the hell are you doing?" Mr Schuester shouted.

Caught red handed. Puck was in the cute little souvenir shop which contained small models of the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State building. Of course, Puck being Puck had just strolled in there and attempted to steal one of the small figures. He stood there, his eyebrows knitted together. "What?" He exclaimed, outraged. I had to give him props. His acting skills were awfully convincing. We wouldn't buy it. We practically saw him with our eyes rob the damn thing. It was so immature. "Just do us all a favour and put it back" Mr Schuester ordered with narrowed eyes.

"I don't know what your talking about" Puck said about to walk out of the shop. We all shouted for him not to. The last thing we needed was to be kicked out of the hotel when we had only just gotten here. "Whatever it is you took. I mean are you so stupid you forgot to bring cash to_ New York City?_" I asked, speaking for the group. Puck's sigh was loud as he placed the little model of the Statue of Liberty back on the shelf and strutted over to us. "Thank you… now as I was saying, yes you guys are going to be sharing rooms, yes I have already picked and no I'm not changing my mind about the decision"

I gritted my teeth. Maybe I should have just let Puck steal that cheap model and gotten us kicked out. A different hotel might have solved my sudden situation. Whoever I was with I would be miserable. Maybe not so much Mercedes since we are kind of the same, but Tina, Brittany, Santana, Lauren and Quinn I all had a problem with. Tina, things were just awkward since we never really spoken properly. Brittany is an idiot. Santana is a whore who cares about sex more than anyone I've ever met in my life so far. Lauren freaks me out and Quinn, she was another subject entirely. I couldn't bear to look at her, knowing that she was the one separating me and Finn from being together. So, either way this amazing trip to the City that never sleeps has just took a turn for the worst. Mr Schue began reading out the names of people sharing rooms.

"Puck and Artie, room 31" He tossed the keys into Arties lap.

"Oh yeah man just like old times" Puck beamed, although Artie looked terrified. Puck bearable during the day, but I imagine spending 4 whole nights with him would be exhausting. "Finn, Sam and Mike you guys are in a three, room 34" Our teacher continued. They were okay with that. The guys were done which left the girls. Tension clouded the atmosphere.

"Brittany and Santana, room 33" Santana's eyes drifted to the floor and Brittany smiled a sad smile as she took the key from Mr Schue's hand.

"Oh and Santana, don't even think about sneaking into Finns room even if it is for Sam" Quinn said with one eyebrow raised. Santana stood and shook her head as she breathed out harshly.

"Screw you hoe" She murmured as she turned around. What did Quinn care what people call her? She had everything she wanted. I suddenly came to a possible realization. There were four of us left Tina, Mercedes, me and…Quinn. I held my breath just waiting for Mr Schue to announce who I was with, even though deep down I already knew. "Tina and Mercedes, room 30 which leaves Quinn and Rachel, room 32" I sighed. I felt my nostrils flare wide with frustration. There is no way in _hell_ that I was going to share a room with _her_ and that was final! When Mercedes and Tina skipped away linking each others arm I marched up to Mr Schue.

"I protest to be put in a room with Quinn!" I fumed. I imagine he saw this coming as he just gave me those eyes that stated I-hope-I-don't-have-to-repeat-myself and my-decision-is-final.

"Yeah Mr Schue can't we just have our own rooms, or swap with someone or something?" Quinn asked in a reasonable tone.

Mr Schuester explained that no one will probably want to swap as Santana and Brittany were "best friends" and so were Tina and Mercedes. We would just have to make do with our situation. I stomped my foot furiously and stormed off to room 32, pulling my aluminous pink suitcase behind me. This was going to be a long 4 days…

After awkwardly unpacking in mine and Quinn's hotel room, the Glee club had decided that we would all go on an outing tour around this gorgeous city. It was incredible but the thing that saddened me was being in a group of people completely unlike me. Mercedes and Tina were giggling about something whilst, again, linking arms. Brittany and Santana seemed to be having an intense conversation further behind the group. Artie was being pushed by Puck who was checking out girls as he walked on by. "Imagine what it would be like to bang that red head" He stated. I shook my head. He was like an impulsive, sex driven monkey. Mike was going through dance moves at the side of me, hoping and praying he wouldn't screw up when the night actually came. Quinn and Finn were holding hands, sweet laughs escaping there lips. And there I was. I hate to admit it but, I was a loner.

I didn't mind to be honest. I have always been alone. I couldn't exactly make it big being in a group or duo now could I? The world was my oyster, _mine. _No one would take that away from me. I will not stop until girls all over the state, no, world are wallpapering my face around their room and setting my songs as their ring tones on their cells. These guys will be sorry to ever treat me like I didn't belong. I did belong just not to this group of underachievers. Something pulled me out of my drastic vision. A voice I would know anywhere, a song that will always remain within the depths of my heart. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. I stopped. My feet refused to pick up as I stood by a stoplight and saw him. Luckily we were headed this way anyway so I didn't look like too much of a fool. Although Finn noticed my abrupt change of face. "Rachel. Rachel are you…" He didn't finish. His eyes followed my gaze. It seemed like some sort of act of twisted fait.

"_I've been alone with you inside my mind, and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times. I sometimes see you pass outside my door, Hello. Is it me you're looking for?"_

Jesse sang.


	2. Chapter 2

** woo hoo! next chapter :) really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you guys enjoy ready it! thanks for all the favourite story, story alerts and reviews! Its great to get some feedback so yeah please review. Enjoy!**

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><p>There he stood in baggy jeans and a plaid t-shirt with his signature curly brown hair whooshing through the light breeze. Finn was stood beside me now as we walked across the busy street. I gulped. Of all the places Jesse St James could be, he chooses New York. My mind drifted to the first time I laid eyes on him in the school library. We sang Hello by Lionel Richie, the song he was singing whilst busting on busy street corners. The group were approaching him and one by one they glanced at me. Mercedes seemed to have her ready-to-bitch look on her face as she pouted her lips and raised an eyebrow in his direction. Everyone else just gave me a sympathetic look. Finally our eyes connected. They hadn't changed not one bit. He stopped strumming on his guitar as a brilliant smile was slowly appearing on his face. He blinked as if he were trying to wake from a dream and finally exclaimed. "Rachel Berry. Is that really you?" The whole group stopped and gave the traitor a dirty look. The whole group apart from me. I carried on walking now that I had collected myself together and had my thoughts straight. He never did love me. He stole my heart and manipulated me into falling in love with him. He never did love you. I repeated several times in my head. "Are you guys coming or are you just going to stand there like idiots, starring at someone trying to make money by strumming a guitar and singing his stone cold heart out?" I yelled in such a dramatic fashion, finished with a hair flip. Sure it seemed childish but I had not interest in playing catch up with the ex with Jesse, none at all!<p>

Jesse removed the guitar from his shoulder and rudely shoved it at Finn forcing him to hold it, although his eyes never left mine. He ran over to me, a dazed smile among his features. He gently touched my shoulders and I shrugged away with a pouted holding my head high and folding my arms. "I missed you Rachel" Jesse said, slightly saddened at my rejection to him. I made a sound that made it clear how disgusted I was to see his face.

"Well, this is a very strange turn of events since you didn't seem to be missing me when you were holding that regional's trophy in the air along with your slimy little worshipers!" I fumed. His face remained calm with a hint of regret. I then noticed the rest of the Glee club standing behind enjoying our little show. Jesse also noticed.

"Five minutes. Give me five minutes to explain. I'll buy you a coffee?" He asked holding his five fingers in the air. I shook my head, overwhelmed by the sudden urge to cry.

"Why? Give me one reason why I should go anywhere with you so you can explain?" I whispered letting my posture relax a little. I shouldn't have. I should have just walked away instead of letting my guard slip. He shrugged.

"Because you didn't give me a chance to last year" He whispered back. I forgot how much of an effect that Jesse had on me. I rolled my eyes and performed another dramatic hair flip.

"Fine" A small cheer escaped from Jesse's mouth. "You have four minutes and thirty seconds. If I stay with you for any longer than that I think I might just hurl"

Jesse was delighted that I had agreed for him to buy me coffee. He bashfully turned around and took his guitar out of Finn's arms. Putting it into his guitar case that was filled with quarters and one dollar notes, I heard a small whisper come from the blonde haired boy which is Sam.

"Who is he?" He whispered to Finn. Ah yes, Jesse was before Sam had transferred to our school. He didn't have a clue in hell about who he was or what he did to us. Finn continued to stare at me with eyes of disbelief. "Nobody. Just some asshole" He spoke. I assured the guys that I'd meet up with them later and so they all turned and departed in the other direction, leaving me with the boy who once left me heartbroken.

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><p>Quinn's POV.<p>

"Oh come on, she's been gone for an hour or so and I doubt she'll be coming back anytime soon" I whispered into Finn's ears whilst laying on top of him in mine and Rachel's hotel room. I teased him by stroking my index finger up and down his chest.

"Maybe. I just… feel weird doing it in here" He said, but his hands never left my thighs. Why was he so resistant? Because Rachel was to stay in this room tonight and he couldn't cope with having sex just because it? I had to admit it frustrated me the way he still held onto the feelings he had for Rachel that weren't worth having. I teased him further and started kissing and sucking on his neck. I rarely gave him hickeys, but I wanted him. Since now was the perfect time to sleep with him I just thought what the hell.

He soon gave in and so, one thing lead to another and eventually he was pulling off my pink floral dress…

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><p>Rachel's POV.<p>

The coffee shop was sweet and out of the way of main street New York. Jesse promised to walk me back to the hotel I was staying at which I argued against but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Once he bought the coffee and placed the two steaming cups on the tables he smiled at me, seemingly taking in every dainty detail my body and face possessed. "So…" He began sipping his coffee. I sat with a perfect posture as usual with my hands clasped around my hot cup. "I'm guessing you're here for nationals?" I narrowed my eyes at him. Had he planned this? How in the world did he know about nationals? He must have noticed my confusion by my pause and straight away gave me an explanation about his knowledge of why I was here. "I work in the theatre were it's held" I nodded.

"So you don't only bust on street corners but you work in a theatre? Here's me thinking I was missing out all thi-"

"I left Vocal Adrenaline" He cut in boring his eyes into his coffee. It seemed like a touchy thing by his reaction to my sarcasm but he did own me an explanation after all, and I felt strongly about getting one from him, and an apology. Although his abrupt statement did make me slide back in my chair slightly. Vocal Adrenaline was Jesse's life, performing and being in the spotlight. There's no way he could have just left! Vocal Adrenaline is the thing that tore us apart like a flimsy sheet of paper. A silence hung in the air until I finally broke it. "You left? Why?" I breathed out. A small smile spread across his face as he looked at me with happy eyes. My heart fluttered. He was happy. Even if he was busting on the streets or working at a theatre, watching people performing and doing what he should be, he was happy and for some reason his happiness suddenly meant the world to me.

"I didn't like who I was when I was with them. They created a monster in me. I'll admit, Rachel. When I was first involved with you it was just for Vocal Adrenaline. But then things turned… real. I loved you Rachel. I swear. I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you, but please know that the Jesse you knew before everything happened was the real Jesse. When I was with Vocal Adrenaline? That wasn't who I really was. Please say you believe me…" He spoke pure words. And I did believe him. Whether it was his unbearable ability in charming people that made me, I didn't quite know. I felt empathy towards Jesse. In a couple of years it could be me singing to strangers outside. I shook the thought from my head. That was a very out of character thought. I am going to make it. I would make sure of it. But things hadn't turned out for Jesse and I wanted to be here for him. I looked at my watch. We had been talking for almost 30 minutes. I sighed.

"I believe you…" I whispered. He breathed as if he were holding his breathe all the time I was thinking. I smiled. "I really need to get back to the hotel though…I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning in rehearsals?" I stupidly asked. Of course I would since he worked in the theatre. It was the abruptness of the situation. This was the last place I had expected to see him. He chuckled.

"Yeah actually you will" We gazed for a moment. Flashbacks from last year came flooding back. In the library, almost having him deflower me, both of our voices connecting and becoming one. I blinked a few times before finally collecting my things. I realised I hadn't touched my coffee but Jesse didn't, and so offered to walk me to the hotel. It was a real opportunity to catch up properly. He did most of the talking of course as I was far to professional to just go back to the way things were after just an hour. I often laughed and he smiled at the sound. Finally we reached the hotel and before he left he gave me a piece of paper that had been folded twice. He winked before he left and I felt ditzy. Had that really just happened? Damn. I need a drink of water. In any other circumstance I would go to Puck and bribe him for a wine cooler. Obviously the bribe would be fake, but he wouldn't know that until the wine cooler was in my hand, but since the party at my house I had strictly forbidden any sort of alcoholic beverage to enter my clean blissful body.

I straightened my back and headed to my room. Or our room. How I hated sharing things, especially with a boyfriend stealing bimbo. I pressed the button that would take me to floor 6 of the hotel and tapped my foot impatiently. Ping. I was here. I travelled down the corridors and turned some corners but eventually got to room 32. I searched my bag for my little card and slipped it into the slit that would open the door for me. Noises vibrated through my ears and when I saw where they were coming from my bag dropped from my shoulder and poofed out on the wooden floor. I couldn't believe it. Quinn and Finn were literally half naked on one of the beds and I swear if it's mine there would be serious issues. More than there already is. The betrayal stung. I always knew Quinn was capable of such immaturity but I wouldn't have expected such a thing from Finn. I stood whilst Finn exclaimed my name and pushing Quinn off of him, searching for a piece of clothing to cover him with. Quinn was also searching for her little floral dress she had been wearing today. I was… I was… I was infuriated! How the hell could Finn do this?

Instead of fuming like I normally would have I took the pump of my left foot and pushed it against the door in order to keep it open and then ran to Mr Schuester's room. I banged on the door so hard that my knuckles were turning red. "MR SCHUESTER!" I shouted. He finally came to the door.

"Rachel, what is it?" He said whilst opening the door in a frustrated tone.

I starred at him for a while and blinked. He raised his eyebrows as he waited. I took a deep breathe and shrugged. "I just walked into my hotel room to find Quinn and Finn having sex and I thought you ought to know about it" I smiled and gestured for him to follow me. To my sick amusement they were still searching for clothes. Finn was in the middle of throwing his t-shirt on and Quinn zipping up her dress. Mr Schuester sighed heavily. After giving them some privacy to get ready the teacher gave a very strongly worded warning and slyly brought the whole Beth situation into it.

"I mean come on Quinn. You're just starting to get back to your normal self I mean I thought that having Beth would make you stronger" he said this and much more. He left the room and thanked me for letting him know although he knew my purposes were wrong. However he still assured me that he would be keeping a much closer eye on the couple. Finn left the room with a quiet apologize to me, but I ignored him and skipped over to my bed a feeling of accomplishment. I had handled that pretty well. It may have been more sneaky and scheming but at this moment I didn't want to give Quinn the satisfaction. I knew exactly what her game was. Have sex with my ex boyfriend make me jealous. Please. How much sluttier can a girl get?

I laid on my bed and put my headphones in. I didn't want her to give me a false explanation. I didn't even want her in here, breathing the same air as me. My alternate plan to listen to music bored me as it's all I'd been doing on the journey here. So instead I turned my iPod off and decided to go get a bite to each from downstairs.

"Rachel" Quinn's girly voice whispered just as my door was on the doorknob. I turned to her, hands on my hips. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't know you were going to come back any time soon. I guess I thought you were having a really good time with Jesse or something…" She starred into her hands as she spoke.

I laughed a humourless laugh. "Is that really the best you could come up with?" I spat. Her face turned to mine now and she shrugged, looking slightly hopeless.

"It's the truth Rachel" She said.

"Yeah you see I don't quite believe anything that comes out of you mouth anymore. Even in another city you just can't seem to leave me alone!" I whined at her and she rose from her bed now on height level with me.

"It's pretty hard to leave you alone since, um, new flash we're kind of sharing a room together" She argued. I narrowed my eyes and shook my head.

"Right. This is probably just one of your twisted little mind games!"

"Why the hell would I be playing games Rachel? I have everything I want" And there it was. I shut up as Quinn continued. "I have Finn. I'm totally comfortable about where I am and who I am. I've managed to put my past behind me, but then there you are trying to make me feel sorry for you! Trying to make my boyfriend feel sorry for you well it's not going to work Rachel. You want me to play games? I can play games. And I guarantee you will be the loser…" The words cut through me like knife slicing through butter. I wasn't trying to make her feel sorry I just wanted them to take my feelings into consideration a bit more than they were. My eyes stung with fresh tears and I turned around and stormed out, not giving her to satisfaction of seeing me cry…


	3. Chapter 3

Today was our rehearsals day. We had four hours alone rehearsing in the theatre. When I said nationals was a different process to sectionals and regionals I wasn't kidding. Four hours, that's all we had to rehearse three performances. The first performance was tonight, the second tomorrow and the third the day after, hence why we're staying in New York for four days. Everyone seemed to be pissed off by this; I however was perfectly fine with doing three performances. More stage time and shining moments for me I guess. I did see Jesse when we were walking into the main seating area on the floor. He was talking to an older man with greyed hair who wore a black suit. I assumed it was his boss. When he finished his slightly intense conversation with the man his eyes caught me. He smiled with a small wave. I felt my cheeks burn ever so slightly as I waved back at him. His eyes then drifted to behind me and he started walking towards me and the group. I heard snarls as he walked past and rolled my eyes at the level of immaturity my classmates were showing. "I can't believe it! He works here!" I overheard Finn's silent outrage to Mike further behind me. Finn and I had been very distant at breakfast. I sat alone with a copy of Gone with the Wind whilst eating a low fat strawberry yogurt.

When it was finally time to get on stage me and Finn performed our duet for the first performance which was the only duet within the whole three. After the first verse and chorus of Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol the music stopped for a sudden moment before breaking out into Sing by My Chemical Romance. The song we were supposed to do for regionals. Our first performance had been perfected and now we would concentrate on our other two performances that weren't as perfect. Quinn had a small solo. She sang the chorus of Pink's song Perfect twice over before we went into Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne which strangely enough reminded me of that one time when we sang Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne. That was our second performance done. Two hours had pasted all ready which meant we would have time do go over our third routine and then go over the others. Our third routine was simple but very sophisticated and elegant. It involved some contemporary dance in the background and me singing one song. I thought about writing a second one but then thought on. I couldn't write another one because nothing worse has happened since those ugly words Quinn spat at me that day in the auditorium. Instead I had spent three hours after school with Mr Schuester to decide on the beautiful song Wrapped in Your Arms by the wondrous band Fireflight. The words were so pure and alluring.

_I'm here, to stay. Nothing can separate us._

_And I know I'm okay when you cradle me gently, wrapped in your arms  
>I'm home.<em>

Mr Schuester was in certain about my choice and slightly frowned when I had finished. Then, as always, we would do a full group performance that was upbeat and involved everyone. No leads, no backups. That was the part when we were all equal. Well, on the stage anyway. For our major group performance we decided to perform Long Live by Taylor Swift, an inspiring song from her amazing album Speak Now. Yes we had an exceedingly well laid out set list. Whilst finishing singing Wrapped in Your Arms and bouncing backwards in my position for Long Live I bumped into a dainty little figure who turned out to be Quinn, "coincidently". "Watch it!" She spoke loudly. I narrowed my eyes. The country music had started symbolising that the song was starting.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to watch it if you weren't _trying to bump into me" I whispered. We started singing and in between the dance routine Quinn bumped into me again. I ignored her, until she did it again as the song was finishing._

"For the love of god Quinn Fabray will you just stop?" I yelled stomping my foot like a bratty child, my voice echoing through the theatre. Everything went silent as everyone eyes turned towards me. Quinn looked shocked. I don't think she was expecting my outburst. Everyone blinked at me. I looked around. I looked like a fool. An idiot. Faces of people I knew and people I didn't started getting back to what they were doing as the shock wore off. It was just Mr Schue who continued to shake his head and stare.

"Rachel I think you should go outside and calm down" He suggested. My mouth hung open and my eye stung with tears. I was tired of being second best! He might as well have given my damn solos to Quinn too. I stormed out dramatically stomping my feet against the wooden floor I slammed the doors open taking me into the lobby and travelled to the back entrance were no one would see me. Fresh air seemed like a marvellous idea at this particular moment. My nostrils inhaled oxygen as I tried to restore back my breath. The air wasn't as fresh as it was in Lima, Ohio but I didn't care. Sitting on the small step like an absolute commoner I soon felt the presence of someone else. I leaned my head on one of my hands thinking it was Mr Schue coming to apologize.

"Go away Mr Schuester! You wanted me to leave, so I- Oh it's you" I started rough but ended softer as a sympathetic looking Jesse sat next to me clasping his hands together. I looked at the rotten floor. "You saw?" I asked. I didn't need to elaborate as I already knew the answer. Jesse nodded, a small smile touching his lips. I sighed, still not fully looking at him.

"You want to talk?" He spoke. His sweet voice vibrating through my ears. I laughed.  
>"I don't want to get you into trouble…you're boss seemed pretty pissed at you this morning" I answered honestly. It's not that I didn't want to confide in Jesse, well, okay it was kind of, but I didn't want him getting fired. This surprised me. I <em>should want to get him fired.<em>

"Oh don't worry about Peter he was just giving me a warning about the next couple of days. You know, the _don't screw this up or your fired speech?" He got a little laugh out of me but it wasn't enough to lighten my mood._

"I hate it…" I mumbled under my breath. I felt Jesse move slightly closer to me as the material of his trousers touched my bare leg. It was seductive in a way, but I knew he meant it in a strictly friendly sense.

"Hate what?" He replied. I bit the inside of my cheek and wrapped my arms around my legs. I blinked a couple of times forcing the tears back.

"Glee club…School…the works" He waited for me to continue. "It's like ever since Finn and I broke up things have just been really bad on me. Of course I'm not letting it effect who I am…well maybe a little but I just feel so useless. My dad's are always away on business trips, my arch enemy has the guy I loved and has absolutely no problem with rubbing it in my face and Mr Schue and the rest of Glee club think I'm a selfish over reacting cupcake! I just feel so-"

"Alone" Jesse finished my sentence. I finally looked at him. He seemed deep in though as his eyes bored into his shoes. I inhaled the air once again before nodding.

"Exactly" I breathed out. And so we sat in a blissful silence. It wasn't awkward, not like when Finn and I would rehearse and then have nothing to say after except 'Great Job' and 'See you at Glee club then'. This was a silence that contained understanding. That's the thing with me and Jesse. We understood each other. Even if he _was pretending to love me way back last year, Jesse and I were still like puzzle pieces. We fitted together, belonged together if you will. Maybe I should consider giving him a second chance. I rolled my eyes. I shouldn't be getting myself distracted with more boy troubles. But the way he was now starring into my eyes, made me want to just melt right there. I felt myself blush as Jesse took one of my hands._

"Well I'm here you know. If you ever want to let of steam or… talk" The touch made my heart skip a beat and his words made my heart race, but at the same time I wasn't sure whether to slap him for being so forward and yell at him that I wasn't ready to be like this with him yet, or leap into his arms and let him willingly steal the heart I had been fixing since he left.

"Rachel" A voice said behind us. Our hands separated and face the blond haired jock who suddenly looked suspicious and confused. I cleared my throat.

"Yes Sam?" I spoke. He pointed behind himself with his thumb.

"We're done rehearsing. Mr Schuester told me to come find you and…tell you yeah I'm gonna go" He awkwardly said. I stood up from the dirty step and brushed my skirt.

"I'll come too" I announced to Sam. He smiled gratefully and led the way to the front of the theatre. Jesse followed like a puppy and when the group were in our eye sight he sighed.

"They really do hate me" He whispered in my ear. I laughed. His hand slid into mine. I was hesitant at first until I realised he was in fact handing me a piece of paper. He bid me a silent goodbye before he disappeared through a random door. With judgy eyes looking at me as I walked over I scrunched the paper into the pocket of my plaid skirt and shrugged in a frustrated manner. "What are you all starring at?" I asked. That got them all to turn away.

The walk to the hotel wasn't far. Maybe 10 minutes? I stayed at the front as usual. I felt it was important for Glee club to have a leader and since no one else had the type of experience I did I thought it was always suitable for me to lead. Half way to the hotel the one and only Noah Puckerman jumped beside me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes Noah?" I asked. Me and Puck rarely spoke. I think the last time we did was when I asked him to do Need You Now by Lady Antebellum to make Finn jealous. I had to admit I was curious in his abrupt interest in me.

"I'm shocked that you think I have a motive behind everything. Maybe I just wanted to talk to you, we haven't in a while" He winked at me. I narrowed my eyes.

"Seriously Puck! What do you want?"

He sighed.

"Fine. Everyone wants to know what the deal is with you and the St James kid" He blurted out, pushing his hand low in his baggy jean pockets. I folded my arms as we entered the hotel lobby.

"And why can't they come _ask me themselves?" I loudly spoke in order for the rest of them to hear. I turned back slightly and saw an ashamed expression plastered on Artie and Tina's face. I raised an eyebrow before turning back to Noah._

"Look, don't shoot the messenger!" He held his hands up and floated back with the rest. So, since rehearsals were over and I still had a good 45 minutes before I planned to start getting ready for tonight's show, I sat in the small coffee shop just next door to the hotel whilst everyone ran to their rooms. Normally I would have done so too but I wasn't in the mood for seeing neither Quinn nor anyone else for that matter. I ordered a small coffee with no sugar and sat in a cosy corner. It was then I remembered the small piece of paper Jesse had slipped into my hand. I got the crumpled piece of paper from my skirt pocket and began to straighten it out. There was a small sentence in scruffy handwriting, as if it had been rushed. My eyebrows furrowed at his lack of effort. But then I thought about how much he must have on his plate and mentally forgave him.

_Meet me at the Statue of Liberty when you have finished your show tonight. _

_I'll be waiting._

_Jesse _

My heart fell into my stomach. The show started at 6:00pm. It finishes at 8:00pm. Mr Schue gave us a curfew of 9:00pm. I couldn't sneak out. No, definitely not!

Oh… but I have always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty and with Jesse it would be ten times as breathtaking. I took the thought back. No. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't.

But when I thought them thoughts I just sighed and flung the piece of paper on the table. Who am I kidding? Of course I would.

We were backstage now and last on which gave us extra rehearsal time, or as we treated it, time to fix our make-up and appearances. I was extremely close to the mirror. My heart pounded. I didn't have a problem with nerves of course; I had more of a problem with being rebellious. Quinn would probably rat me out. Why wouldn't she? I did with her and Finn. I had to prepare myself for Mr Schuester's cold words in the morning. In my mind a voice continuously murmured, "There's an easy solution to this entire problem. Don't go!"

I've never experienced what it's been like to have one of those situations when one is torn between the head and the heart. I've always just gone with either one without complication. But this was something entirely different. Should I go? What was he planning on doing if I did go? Would he take advantage of me? My thoughts were interrupted by a sorry looking Quinn Fabray. I paused what I was doing for a moment in surprise but soon put my lip gloss in my make-up bag and started fiddling with my hair. "Yes Quinn?" I asked tilting my head so I could see what my pin straight hair looked like from each angle. Quinn looked confident as she took a step forward. I took it as a symbol to turn around so that's what I did. She sighed.

"Look. I'm sorry about today. I guess…it was pretty lame" She said slightly clenching her jaw. Not in an angry way. In an annoyed way, which told me she really meant it in a strange way. I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah" Was all I said. I cleared my throat. "I accept your apology Quinn" I simply said and returned to the mirror. Fifteen minutes until show time. The buzz was starting to hit me. Quinn was still in my reflected. My eyebrows knitted together in confusion and I spun back around. I gestured for her to continue.

She rolled her eyes. "I was actually hoping to come to some sort of arrangement. We are in New York; we shouldn't be fighting all the time. And beside, you and I both want this. To win nationals, it's probably the one thing we have in common beside Finn" She paused as my eyes fluttered and I flipped my hair back, not exactly looking her straight in the eye. "Let's just _try and be civil with each other. It's not gonna work fighting and sharing a room together whilst also rehearsing and spending most of our time in the same small group" I would have loved to turn her down flat, but admittedly she had a point. I inhaled before nodding._

"Well Quinn, you have yourself a deal!" I announced and held out my hand. A small smile touched her lips, whether she meant the smile or not well I wasn't quite sure, but she took my hand willingly and shook it. Maybe tonight would be simplified since me and Quinn was okay with each other…for now that is.

Next thing I knew it was show time.

I smiled my award winning smile as we took a bow and received the only standing ovation of the night. I skipped of the stage not want the amazing rush of adrenaline to wear of. After squealing and jumping we started getting ready to get back to the hotel.

"I think this calls for a celebration!" Finn shouted in a deep manly voice. Everyone agreed. Except me and Noah. I was confused at first but then rolled my eyes. Of course, he was going to be sneaking out too.

Mr Schuester also agreed. "Yes but don't forget! Back at the hotel for 9:00pm"

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><p><strong>yay! hope you guys enjoyed the chapter :) wonder what will happen at the Statue of Liberty then huh? next chapter will be up soon! thanks so much for all the story alerts and favourites! not to mention my lovely reviewers! I could use some more reviews so, come on give me some feedback here :P<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

I was in my room. So much for celebrating. Everyone was eventually shattered and decided to have an early night. This was going to be easier than expected. I changed into a white blouse with a cute little bow that tied together at the neckline. I did the bow loosely so the blouse didn't look or feel like it was choking me. I slipped into a slim black skirt and tucked my blouse in, pulling it out so it hung over my skirt slightly. I then put my white socks on that pulled right up to my knees and finished my look with a pair of black pumps and a black beret. My hair was is loose curls so I looked very chic. I smiled in the mirror and winked before I turned the light of and slowly crept over to the door. Fortunately the door wasn't squeaky at all so that was simple. I breathed once the door was shut then caught my breathe in shock of who was opposite me.

"Noah…what are you doing?" I asked suspiciously. His facial expression mirrored mine as he looked me up and down. He looked to the sides and relaxed his stance a little. He shrugged.

"Oh I was just uh, going to the" He paused thinking up and excuse then clicked his fingers. "The bathroom" He said as if I should already know, laughing awkwardly. I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't there a bathroom in your room?" I asked. He puffed a laugh out pointing his thumb. His false laugh made me giggle under my breath. His acting skills were most definitely not showing their full potential tonight.

"Yeah, but I…prefer public bathrooms" He laughed. I then realised I was trying to catch him out. Of course he was too stupid to try and do that with me. I sighed. We were both in the same boat so I just nodded and went along with it.

"Me too…ladies room…this way" I pointed to my right. He nodded hastily.

"Yeah dudes are…this way" He pointed to the left. We smiled at each other and then began walking. I inhaled. I took a last glance at Noah who was now running I cleared my throat loud enough for him to hear. He froze and turned around.

"I'm desperate" He whispered. I just laughed. Maybe this was a bad idea. I stopped I had to go back to my room. Jesse would understand. I started retracing my steps. I stopped again. But I really did want to go. And beside I do everything on the safe side and my grades were perfect and I deserved to do something a little crazy now. I began walking again confident of my decision. I paused. Maybe I should just forget it. No. I stomped my foot! I would go. I looked at my watched. Damn. Almost 9:30pm. "I can't help but notice, but you seem a little at war with yourself Berry" whispered a smug looking Puck as I turned around. He stood, eyebrow raised, hands casually in his pockets. So much for 'I'm desperate'. I narrowed my eyes at him and his comment and folded my arms. "Don't you have to pee?" I said. Panic grew in his eyes as he laughed once and started running again. I shook my head. Come to think of it…maybe I should start running a little. And so I steadied myself into a light jog, on my way to the Statue of Liberty.

I smiled. There he was looking all snug in a brown leather jacket and a scarf tugged up to his jaw line. I inhaled and shut my eyes for one moment before finally running up to him. "Well hello Jesse" I said tapping his shoulder. His eyes lit up with excitement as he shivered slightly. He looked awkward for a sudden minute. I'm guessing he couldn't decide whether to hug me, or shake my hand. Instead he just carried on smiling.

"You came!" He rejoiced. "I didn't think you would" He spoke. His nose was red from the bitter air as I started to realise he may have been standing here for a while. I cleared my throat and shrugged.

"I wasn't going to at first" He looked slightly saddened by this but still smiled, denting cute dimples in his face.

"What changed your mind?" He whispered stepping closer to me. The wind started picking up slightly and I started eying the huge, gigantic, enormous rock in front of us. I bit my lips and fluttered my lashes.

"Are we going up or what?" I teased as I walked past him and started to make my way up to the very top of the Statue of Liberty.

I must say the view from up top was definitely beautiful, but what I found completely odd was the piano that was placed in a random spot. I was surprised at first until I felt Jesse tug on my hand bringing me over to sit on the piano bench. I shook my head. He never did fail to surprise me. We sat down and he gazed deeply into my eyes.

"How did you get a piano up here…and why is it so empty!" I asked bewildered by the fact. He chuckled. "A friend of mine. It wasn't easy but, gotta do what I gotta do"  
>He smiled, one of his curls dangling in front of his eye. I breathed out a laugh. It was warmer inside but the cold still bit against my skin. Jesse noticed and shrugged off his jacket, revealing that he was wearing a black mans cardigan with a white t-shirt, though you couldn't really see it as it was hidden by his snug scarf. His denim jeans and boots completed the smart, sexy look. Kurt would have definitely approved of this look. Definitely.<p>

"I want to sing to you" He whispered, draping the jacket over my shoulders. The scent of his cologne filled my nostrils and I cuddled more into the jacket. He'd grown up a lot since last year.

"You want to sing? To me? Here?" I couldn't believe it. Jesse St James was going to serenade to me! On the Statue of Liberty! He just laughed and closed his eyes before his hands started to softly, delicately drift against the keys creating a beautiful melodic tone. I instantly realised what song it was when he actually started playing the tune. My heart melt. I wasn't all familiar with the lyrics of the song but I definitely knew what song it was. Into Your Arms by The Maine. He began singing.

_"There was a new girl in town. _That's you" I giggled. He smiled.

"_She had it all figured out._

_ Well I'll state something rash,_

_ She had the most amazing" _I raised an eyebrow.

_"Smile." _I bit my tongue and smiled, pulling a curl behind my ear.

_"I bet you didn't expect that,_

_ She made me change my ways._

_With eyes like sunsets baby," _He stared at me deeply.

_"And legs that went on for days" _I got goose bumps when he hit that high note.

_"I'm falling in love, but it's falling apart,_

_I need to find my way back to the start._

_When we were in love,_

_And things were better than they are._

_Let me back into…into your arms…into your arms" _

I was utterly speechless. He finished the first chorus and then a slight instrumental to finish the song. The lyrics were…so relevant. Is that why he brought me here? In hope to rekindle our love for one another? Well he was doing an outstanding job, but it didn't change facts. I could no longer trust Jesse. Or could I? Things hadn't turned out for him exactly the way he planned all because he left Vocal Adrenaline. And he left because of me. Why did I feel partly responsible? It was his choice. Oh, I hadn't heard him sing in so long and forgotten how beautiful his voice was. Well, besides on the streets but he clearly should sing properly whilst busting. I bet a lot of dazed women would be very kind money wise towards him if he did. Jesse was the one to break the silence.

"I know that you can no longer trust me with…anything. But I want to try and change that. I have three more days before you go back to Ohio. Maybe we ca-"

My instincts controlled me as I smacked my lips against his. I felt his shock radiant through me for a moment but it soon turned into passion. His hand lifted to my neck and cradled my face. I had forgotten how soft and light his lips were. I also forgot how much of a good kisser he actually was. His hot breath felt wonderful in the most normal way possible. His tongue smoothly slid across mine. My heart beat fast. The fastest its beat in a while. Jesse excited me. I then thought. And he deserved a second chance, just like I deserved someone like him in my life right now. I pulled away reluctantly although my eyes still remaining shut. We leaned our foreheads against each others and took deep breaths. He smiled, re-opening his eyes as did I. "So" He paused taking one of my hands. "Does this mean…?"

I laughed. "You have three days" I mimicked him. He grinned. "Make them count"

He bit his lip and nodded, looking at me in a seductive way. "I will" He stated before placing a kiss on my lips. We got up from the piano bench and just enjoyed the wonderful view of night life New York. It truly was magnificent. Watching the ant sized people below us, not having a clue who we were or why the Statue of Liberty was in fact shut for the night. Is it possible Jesse had me, once again, under his spell? Of course not. I would not jump to abrupt conclusions such as falling in love with him. Even if he did serenade me with song…on top of the Statue of Liberty…and took his jacket of to keep me- you know what, no Rachel! Do not think about it. I demanded myself mentally. The breeze was picking up but I still enjoyed the coolness of the air.

I rested my head on Jesse's shoulder and he let me. I was getting sleepy though, to my disappointment. I yawned. "I'll walk you to the hotel. It's getting pretty late now anyway" I sighed and pouted the wind ruffling through both mine and Jesse's hair.

"I don't want to leave…" I whispered sleepily a bit stunned I had said it out loud. He laughed and so I knew the night had come to an end. He held my hand through the dark night New York. It was just as busy as it was during the day, only now there were beautiful people in sparkling gowns and plastered with make-up and fake tan. "I bet you love it here" I said to Jesse. He laughed. I knew he loved it here. He was a dramatic, quite like myself. He nodded in agreement. A year separated and still knew him exceedingly well.

Approaching the hotel I was certain I saw Noah walking in looking sad. I shrugged it off. His business was his business, I shouldn't be getting involved. But even though I felt nothing romantic for Puck I still cared about him and if something was upsetting him I would like him to be able to come talk to me about it. Of course, he would never come to me about anything and honestly I wouldn't go to him either. In fact I wouldn't go to anyone. Maybe that will change by the end of our stay here. I smiled at the thought, and then my eyes drifted to Jesse. We suddenly stopped. I sighed, frowning. Jesse took both of my hands and starred into my eyes. "Short but sweet" He whispered. I nodded, still overwhelmed with sadness. He lifted a hand and placed it gently on my cheek. His thumb stroked over my skin and he slowly bent down to kiss me once on the lips. "I'll see you" was all he said. I fluttered my eyelashes. The words were there they just wouldn't come out. I felt like there was an anchor attached to my heart. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to leave him. "Tomorrow?" I asked as he untwined our hands. He bit his lip slightly.

"Definitely…" He said and before I knew it he was gone. I then realised I still had his jacket on. I tried calling for him, but it was too late. He had already disappeared. I bit my lip and skipped into the hotel and up to my room being extra quiet. Tonight was beautiful. I fell asleep excited for what tomorrow may bring…

"You're a real ass do you know that?" I heard the familiar voice of my 'roomy' scream. My eyes fluttered open at the bright light of our room. "And now you've woke Rachel up! Just go Finn!" She sounded furious, repulsed in fact.

"Fine" Finn said as Quinn shut the door, almost throwing it of its hinges. Her face was red but her make-up was still perfectly done as usual. Come to think of it, she was fully dressed. I then snatched my cell of the bedside table and checked the time. 10:30 Am. My mouth hung open. I was truly disgusted with myself. I groaned.

"Don't worry, no one else is up yet either. Just me, Finn and Mr Schuester. Well, maybe everyone's up now with all that shouting" She reassured me but looked at the floor as she ended. I nodded and thanked her. She smiled and walked into the bathroom. It was obviously none of my business but I had to admit I was very curious about what all the 'shouting' was actually about. Instead of thinking I just lay in my bed adjusting my eyes and stretching. I was so warm and cosy. Usually on trips away from home I missed my bed dearly, but this bed was an exceptional substitute. My phone vibrated in my hand as I still hand hold of it. It was a text message. I didn't recognise the number but opened it anyway.

GUESS WHO SWIPED YOUR CELL AND STOLE YOUR NUMBER FROM IT LAST NIGHT? I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE, CURLY HAIRED GUY RING A BELL? – J

I giggled at the text message and immediately saved his number into my cell phone. I typed in his name and, ta-da; there he sat at the top of my contacts list. I then replied to the message.

WELL WELL WELL JESSE ST JAMES! I'M SHOCKED AT YOUR BEHAVIOUR! RUMAGING THROUGH A WOMENS CELL PHONE AND IVADING PRIVACY? LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED VERY MUCH AFTER ALL – R

I felt slightly bad. What if he didn't take it as a joke and took it seriously? My phone vibrated almost instantly.

OUCH! WELL IF I HADN'T CHANGED I WOULD HAVE TAKEN ATVANTAGE OF YOU NOW WOULDN'T I? IF I DO REMEMBER CORRECTLY YOU KISSED ME DIDN'T YOU? ;) – J

I narrowed my eyes at the phone whilst responding.

AH YOU GOT ME ST JAMES! – R

Quinn came strolling out of the bathroom and starred at me suspiciously. I smiled as I pulled the covers of me and retreated to the bathroom myself. I loathed morning breath and usually it was the very first thing I did of a morning. So I left my cell behind and went to brush my teeth. I had a small two minute timer with pink sand in that guided me through my teeth brushing process. Obviously being a star my teeth had to be perfect so I spent four minutes brushing my teeth using my time twice and rinsing my mouth with extra strong mouthwash. When finished I would floss if there were any imperfections but there usually wasn't I smiled widely in the mirror and ran my tongue across my front teeth smoothly. I washed my face with water since I used a face mask yesterday. I alternated my days in which I would use a face mask. When I was cleaned I bounced into the room feeling very good.

I saw the little red light flashing on my blackberry. Quinn had her back facing me as she was doing something. O casually retrieved my cell from the bed and checked my new unread message.

I ALWAYS DO :) SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO TODAY? YOU DON'T HAVE REHERSALS, AND I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I TOO HAVE THE DAY OFF – J

I smiled and replied in a quick fashion, but Quinn interrupted me with a question that made my heart race with panic. "Whose is the jacket?" She asked flinging Jesse's brown leather jacket with her hands to face me, eyeballing it. I panicked. I had to think of something and fast! Um…My phone vibrated again. Jesse was calling me. Quinn continued to eye me suspiciously. "Who has been texting you all morning? I mean it's none of my business but lets face it you're not all that popular to be getting texts so early now!" She was warm. Very warm. I felt the sweat on my brow but got myself together in a timely fashion. I really should answer my cell. I did.

"Um hey can I call you back?" I quickly said hanging up before Jesse could give me an answer, throwing my phone underneath my cushion. I smiled at Quinn who stood there with her arms folded and a questioning look to her eyes. "That is my father's jacket. I get really bad homesick" It was the best I could come up with and she seemed to buy it. Kind of. She handed over the jacket with a hugely raised eyebrow and finally left the room. I breathed. That was close. I then jumped realising I had been completely rude to Jesse. I quickly called him back and he answered after two rings.

"Hello?"  
>"I'm so sorry about that!" I rushed.<p>

"Oh" He chuckled a little. "Well hello Rachel"

I blushed as we talked about how we would spend the current day together…


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while but I promise the next chapter will be up ASAP. So this chapter is basically the arrival of a character that I just wanted to add for dramatic impact :D also I will be bringing Puck in a much bigger character within the next couple of chapters so that'll be fun. Yeah I just hope you guys enjoy this! Thanks for the review and story alerts, means a lot so really thanks!**

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><p>I took my time getting ready. The weather was reasonable and so I decided to wear a black dress with a classy white polka dot pattern. I wore a pair of sparkling white tennis shoes with it to add the Rachel Berry spark to the outfit. I only ever wore a little bit of make-up. The basics; bush, mascara and lip gloss. When I was happy with myself I put on my beautiful gold necklace that beheld a small star. My dads got me it while ago and I was oh so proud to wear it all the time. I smiled in the mirror. Not bad for thirty minutes of work. It was now 11:30 and although I was slightly ashamed of my laziness I was overwhelmed with happiness. This was rather strange since I hadn't felt <em>real <em>happiness in a while. I fixed my wavy hair to perfection and before bouncing out the door gracefully. I would eat breakfast and then meet up with Jesse. I assume everyone was already suspecting things about me and him but it didn't bother me. Who were they to judge anyway? It's not like they were perfect; in fact, the closest thing to perfect in this club was me. I skipped down stairs to the lobby and was about to get breakfast but came to a sudden halt. My mouth was wide open as a smile slowly started to elope. "Oh my goodness Kurt!" I squealed as I ran towards Kurt, arms open. He stood there with a bag over his shoulder and one hand on his hip. I hugged him and he hugged back.

"Hello there Miss Berry" He said in a smug way, probably pleased that he had caught me by surprise. I pulled away to take a real look at him. His hair was beautifully styled as usual and he wore his signature knee length sweater with dark blue jeans. He looked so very…Kurt which of course wasn't a bad thing.

"Oh wow, I can't believe you're here" I exclaimed. He shrugged, his cheeks shining as he smiled.  
>"Oh hey Rachel" a deep, huskily voice came from behind Kurt. It was Blaine. I grinned and waved at him. "I'm gonna go to our room, unpack" Kurt nodded and Blaine placed a soft kiss on Kurt cheek. My mouth was slightly open beholding the element of surprise. "Bye Rachel" Blaine said before disappearing. I smiled at Kurt.<p>

"Oh stop it" He exclaimed and slipped his arm through mine. He led me to the breakfast area and we both got pancakes with a low fat syrup on top. Why not? I thought. We giggled as we retreated to a table and dug into our breakfast. With a mouth full of pancake Kurt started talking.

"So I heard you've been very busy" He raised his eyebrows flirtatiously. I shook my head and bit my lip.  
>"I have no idea what you're talking about" I replied innocently. Of course I knew exactly what he was talking about. I was probably talk of Glee club and don't get me wrong I loved the attention but I hated that everyone hated my choice. Word hadn't got out that I was willingly giving Jesse a second chance and I would very much like to keep it that way. And so I continued eating my breakfast whilst Kurt gave me accusing eyes. I rolled my eyes. "Fine. What have you heard?" I asked knowing Mercedes must have been keeping him updated what with him still being at Dalton, although him and Blaine were due to transfer for senior year next year. He babbled on about Mercedes probably over exaggerating about me totally being back in love with Jesse and how he didn't believe it at first but then got a text from Finn that said;<p>

HEY KURT! JESSE AND RACHEL BACK TOGETHER...I THINK. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. HELP? – F

"I was very concerned. Usually he doesn't come to me with…relationship problems. In fact we barley spoken in months!" Kurt exclaimed cleaning up the last of his low fat blueberry syrup with his last piece of pancake. I breathed. I knew it must have hurt Kurt for Finn to completely shut him off but he's been doing that with everyone recently. Except of course his beloved Quinn of course. I rolled my eyes at the thought and pushed my plate away. I wasn't hungry. Not anymore anyway. I sighed flipping my hair back.

"Sweetie, are you on one of those crazy star diets again?" Kurt asked giving me the eyebrow. I smiled at him and shook my head, placing my hands gracefully on my lap.

"No actually I'm not I just don't feel hungry right now" I simply replied. He shrugged in such a Kurt like fashion. It was then his eye caught something behind me. Or someone. He had his flirtatious look or his face as his eyes fleeted between me and whatever he was looking at. I finally gave in and turned around. I felt my heart jump at the sight before me. Jesse stood hands in his pockets, a faint smile touching his lips. He looked…pretty amazing. I heard a small giggle from Kurt and removed myself from the chair. "Well, this has been lovely Kurt. It was very nice seeing you" I said smiling.

"Oh it's no problem at all" He raised his eyebrows. I was about to leave before Kurt called me back. "Oh and Rachel? Text me with _all the details_" He said.

"Goodbye Kurt" I replied and walked towards Jesse St James slightly blushing as he bit his lip seductively and took my hand.

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><p>PUCK'S POV.<p>

I stretched my arms and smiled. Good night. Successful too. Too bad none of the ladies I met were interested in coming back here with me. Something about me being to naïve to believe that they would sleep with me. I mean I was no smartass but I'm pretty sure that what they were trying to say I was like too awesome for them or something. At least, I think that's what naïve means. Anyway, I hopped out of bed in just my black boxers and immediately went to check if my Mohawk had grown some more. I guess it did look a little bigger. I winked in the mirror at myself before brushing my teeth thoroughly with my brand new tooth brush. Yeah that's right I got a new toothbrush. After finishing my teeth and splashing water and soap on my face I patted a towel over my skin and then went to get ready. I threw on a pair of baggy jeans and a plain black t-shirt. I wore plain black sneakers to match. Yup I look hot. I had to admit it to myself. Checking myself one last time I finally went out of my room. I then realised Artie wasn't there. I considered checking in the room before the door completely closed over, but then it shut and I suddenly remembered I had left my cool swiping card…thingy in there. I shrugged with an oblivious smile before strutting down the corridors.

I raised my eyebrows at hotties who smiled at me, which was like one and heard giggles from behind. They so wanted me. I was now in the lobby and found myself frozen, eyebrows raised, eyeballs popping out and my lips slightly pursed. The St James kid was holding hands with Rachel. Wow, them two were actually hooking up. I guess that's were she was last night. I just let it slide as I walked over towards the breakfast area which is when I saw her. She wore a floral printed dress that came just above the knee with a washed out denim jacket. Her hair was in cute, wavy curls that were pushed out of her face by a thin red headband. Her small feet had small pumps protecting them as she gracefully glided over to a table alone. I had to collect myself for a moment. It was only Quinn Fabray. It's not like I still had a…thing for her or anything. I breathed. _You, my sexy friend _I started mentally to myself._ _Are Noah Puckerman. Just because some chick got pregnant with your baby and gave it away doesn't mean you aint who you aint! You need to forget about her… __Although the last part was easier said than done since I had been secretly seeing our child twice every week for the past year. Beth turns one in just three weeks and I hadn't put up the courage to talk to Quinn about coming to her birthday party. Rachel's mom was really cool with it and really she's the one that encouraged me to be involved in Beth's life but it would even more amazing if Quinn were also involved.

I shook my head. Whatever. I walked over trying to forget about everything I had just though about. I sat down opposite her. "What up hot stuff?" I exclaimed sliding into the seat. I earned an eye roll as Quinn placed a spoonful of cereal in her mouth. I always though she was more of a toasted bread kind of person but hey hey.

After swallowing the cereal down, she finally spoke. "What do want? I bet Finn sent you over here! Well tell him he can apologize himself" She fumed angrily scooping up another spoonful of breakfast. I raised an eyebrow. Was this bitch for real? I raised my hands and leaned back slightly.

"Whoa whoa…whoa" I started. "For one you need to chillax and two, Finn? Seriously the guy barley speaks to me anymore I mean since you guys won prom King and Queen he's just always with you and having random kids worship at his feet" It came out faster and angrier than it was supposed to.

She seemed amused and left her spoon to fall into her bowl.

"Jealous much?" She stated. I narrowed my eyes. Her eyebrows lifted. The only thing that made me jealous about Finn is that he had her. Their love is manufactured but ours is completely real. She just doesn't know that. I smiled.

"Of what exactly?" I said In between chuckles. I then leaned back further indulging the disapproval seeping from her entire body. "I've been there, done that or in this case, you" She sighed heavily. Maybe it was kind of low since she was still sensitive to the whole Beth thing. She didn't like to admit it, and I'm not very good at reading people but I can read her like I can read a porn magazine. Very well. Quinn looked down which showed me she had had enough of my company and wished to leave. Which is exactly what she did. She stood up and put her little brown bag on her right shoulder and looked down at me.

"I can't believe I ever thought that we could have had a future together" She made a sound of disgust before turning away and walking outside the hotel. I sighed. Man I had to stop being an ass to her.

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><p>RACHEL'S POV.<p>

Jesse chuckled at my bad attempt to play his piano. His apartment was truly spectacular. It was so glamorous. Like something out of Gossip Girl. The view was incredible and the design was very Jesse like. A huge piano was placed in front of the window which I was very badly playing on. Jesse sat on the bench beside me passing me a drink of lemonade. He did offer me wine but I didn't accept. Whenever someone's mentions alcohol now, I just cringe with humiliation. I was not going to get into a state such as the one after the party at my house when Puck broke into my dad's alcohol cupboard. I still shivered at the memories.

I sipped my lemonade as I swayed to the soft melody Jesse stared to play on the piano. He smiled. A smile as if he was witnessing an angel falling from heaven or something. I would always reply by biting my lip or asking him what he was looking at. He would always reply with a simple smile and shrug. I then started to notice the tune he was playing. A much loved song that I had always loved. It was Maroon 5's She will be loved.

_"Beauty queen of only eighteen she,  
>has some trouble with herself.<br>he was always there to help her she,  
>always belonged to someone else"<em> A hint of sadness gleamed in his eyes as he made contact with my eyes at that precise moment of the song. I felt guilty. Even with Jesse there was always that spark of love that remained with me for Finn. But the spark was dying and soon there would be nothing but ash left._  
><em>"I drove for miles and miles and,<br>wound up at your door.  
>I've had you so many times but,<br>somehow I want more." __It was irrelevant to our situation but hitting the kind of high note sent tingles down my spine.

_"I don't mind spending every day,  
>out on your corner in the pouring rain.<br>look for the girl with the broken smile" _I looked down at the floor._  
><em>"Ask her if she wants to stay a while,<br>and she will be loved.  
>and she will be loved" <em>_He finished. I smiled a full smile. When his hands stopped he turned fully towards me, taking my drink from my hand and placing it on a small table to the side of him. My heart beat faster than it was two seconds ago as he held my hands in his. He looked up at me with kind eyes. I then realised how much Jesse actually had changed. He was…pure. He had always had an ego that was almost as big as mine but, I guess leaving Vocal Adrenaline changed him.

A light smile touched his lips as he blinked once before speaking. "Thank you" He barley whispered. I giggled.

"For what exactly? You're the one singing so beautifully to me in your stunning apartment" I said excitedly. He laughed at my reaction looking amused at my approval but turned sincere.

"For giving me a second chance…" He said. I fluttered my eyelashes. Once again Jesse St. James had left me speechless, a very hard thing to achieve. Too my disappointment it was getting late. I frowned looking at the clock on Jesse's wall. He looked too. He also had to get dressed for work. So he walked me back to the hotel with his arm securely wrapped around my waist the whole time. He placed a small kiss on my cheek as he left me in the lobby and as I turned I saw Mercedes, Tina, Mike, Sam and Finn all wide-eyed starring at me. The judgment literally crawling out of them.

I was in the hotel room reading a book innocently as a very frustrated looking Quinn stormed through the door almost pulling it off its hinges…again. I closed my book over. "I'll give you a mi-"I started but she cut me off.

"I've always accepted it, always. It's crazy but I just put up with it because I thought I loved him but I'm so _so _sick of it…I'm so sick of him!" Quinn fumed with her hands on her hips. I was confused. She was actually confiding in me? I raised a single eyebrow as I lay my book on my bed.

"Sick of what?" Well, what else could I say? The blonde and I weren't exactly BFF's. Quinn shook her head furiously. I had never seen her so aggravated. Should I be concerned? I didn't know what on earth to do. A small shiny tear fell from her eye. I sensed it was more so anger than sadness she was feeling.

She shrugged. "Who am I kidding? He's always going to love you" She said through gritted teeth. My stomach twisted. Love me? Surely she couldn't mean… "Finn is always gonna love you" She breathed before stomping out of the room. I stood there as the door shut. I tried to collect my thoughts but I couldn't. Everything was suddenly muddled up all in my head. I sat on my bed. I should be happy. Finn loved me. He and I would be together forever. At least, that's what I should be thinking. But the only thing I could think about was how much I didn't love him. Maybe I did, once and it was so passionate. But I suddenly realized I had a new love. Or technically speaking an old love.

_And that scared me more than anything else I was feeling…_


	6. Chapter 6

**So I'm back :D thanks for the reviews guys and story alerts, means a lot! So Quinn/Puck is like my 2nd OTP for Glee so I really wanna bring a little storyline involving them. A puckleberry friendship with start to bloom in the next chapter as Puck confesses much more. Next chapter is in Jesse's apartment. It's raining and everything is just so cliche and romantic...or is it? hehe also Puck is just being Puck and blows his steam off with drink and girls...OR DOES HE? :D HAHAHA okay so yeah enjoy!**

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><p>"Hey Rachel, I was just wondering if you wanted to choose another song instead of the Fireflight one?" I rolled my eyes. Did I really sing the song that terrible? I put my mascara brush back into the tube before dramatically turning from the mirror.<p>

"Mr Schuester if my singing is really that bad please just spit it out" I fumed. Mr Schue didn't look at all shocked by my little outburst and just shuffled through some papers, handing me a list of songs. I narrowed my eyes. The list consisted of Miley Cyrus's The Climb, Songbird by Eva Cassidy, Sara Bareilles's Gravity and so many more. I shook my head. None of these songs were particularly as challenging as Wrapped in Your Arms by Fireflight so why on earth was he shoving them at me. I sighed placing the piece of paper on the dressing table behind me.

"Mr Schuester, as much as I appreciate your help I don't think these songs will show off my vocals any more than the one I have already chosen to sing" I said calmly. Well, at least I hoped it came out calm. Mr Schue smiled.

"I didn't choose those songs because they allow you to use your voice in a better way; I chose them because they are emotional. When you sing Wrapped in Your Arms you look pretty sincere…but I saw you sing Get it Right Rachel. That's the reason we won Regionals. Not because the song was brilliant, which it was. Because of the emotion you allowed yourself to put into it" The teacher finished. I would have been offended usually but what if Mr Schuester was right? Maybe a different song would be better. I rolled my eyes. How I hated being wrong. Especially about _my _singing and what songs suit my voice better. I flipped my hair behind my shoulder and placed my hands on my hips. I nodded.

"I'll make a decision and be sure to let you know which song I have chosen in the morning" I said quickly before leaving him in order to go get my dress. I got here a little earlier than everyone else. They decided to go to The Statue of Liberty before the show. I smiled to myself. The all freaked out when I told them I had already been. Yes, a distant memory of when I was just a child. My dads were on a business trip in New York and decided that it was an opportunity that couldn't be missed for their lovely little girl. At least, that's what I told them anyway. I slipped into the plain white dress. The dress come just above the knee and had a high neckline. We wore plain white pumps and even though it was simple and lacked colour it was also spontaneous and elegant. I smiled and twirled, only to jump at the person who stood before me.

"Noah!" I squealed, placing my hand on my heart dramatically. He grinned and raised his eyebrows but I knew he was just teasing me. I grew angry and stood with my hand son my hips. "What are you doing? I thought you would be out with the rest of the guys" I said. He simply shrugged, which is when I realised he too was dressed. The white t-shirt emphasised his tan skin and revealed his muscular figure even more. Especially with the way he had a couple of buttons undone that were of course supposed to be done up. I sighed. Did he not know how to dress himself? I walked over to him and started fiddling with his buttons that kept slipping when I tried putting them into the small holes where they belonged. He rolled his eyes when I patted his chest amused at how something as simple as buttoning a few buttons of a shirt can make a person look completely different. Until of course I realised it all hanging out.

"You should probably tuck that in too" I smiled and turned around to put my day clothes into my big bag that I would take back to the hotel after the show.

"You want to do it for me?" He asked flirtatiously. I darted around and narrowed my eyes furiously at him. He just blinked. I knew immediately that something was wrong. I gave him… the stare and he didn't react. I folded my arms. "Okay" I started before sitting on a small chair crossing my legs. "You want to talk?" I said offering him someone to talk to. He laughed once and it amazed me that he actually looked like he was feeling something other than being a brainless douche bag. Hurt flickered in his dark eyes as he very smoothly covered it with a grin and eyebrow shift. I breathed once. He never ceased to amaze me. Not matter how much of an ass he was. I got up off the small chair and looked him up and down.

"You're hurt" I barley whispered. A booming laugh escaped the teenager's lips.

"Seriously Rachel?" He asked smiling as if I was a complete utter idiot.

"You know Noah, my father used to be a psychiatrist so I'm kind of an expert at reading people" I stated. Now I was the one smiling smugly and all amusement was wiped of his face. His jaw clenched as he gritted his teeth.

"I'm sorry to say this Rachel because I know it'll burst through the little shield you think you have around you, but even if I was feeling hurt, and I'm not! Do you really think I would talk to _you about it with you_?" Puck fumed very abruptly. I simply raised my eyebrows. Of course I knew what people thought about me. I was Rachel Berry, most dramatic and selfish person at McKinley High who lives in a fantasy world were everything revolves around her. They were wrong. Maybe I was selfish and maybe I was a drama queen but what I wasn't, was oblivious. And it annoyed me how people's opinions continued to remain the same even after at least three months. I was sick of it.

"Whatever Noah! My God do you just want to avoid feeling all together, is that it? Because I am offering you a chance to open up and you're taking all of your _anger out on me!"_ I shouted back. That shut him up even though it was a feeble attempt of standing up for myself. He just looked at me now, his eyes growing painful once again. I placed my hand on his shoulder only for him to shrug it away. I wasn't hurt by this. I was so used to people disliking me that I just gave up caring. Luckily we were saved. Saved by…Quinn. She came in and said nothing but gave me and Noah a suspicious look. She collected her garment bag that held her dress in as an awkward silence clouded the room. Quinn's eyes rolled as we just looked down at floor. I sighed and walked out before she did. I wasn't going to prepare myself for our performance by arguing about Puck's feelings. I just retreated to the bathroom and placed my headphones into my ears and practiced the songs. No one else seemed serious about winning Nationals, but I certainly was.

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><p>I opened the door of the bathroom but stopped as I heard voices. I wasn't usually one for ear wigging but I just didn't want to interrupt the conversation, well, hushed argument going on. As I expected it was Finn and Quinn. "I don't want to be with Rachel. I want to be with you" Finn spoke sincerely and I imagined him embracing Quinn or holding her hands, desperation in his eyes. Quinn made a noise of disgust.<p>

"No you don't. You're just saying that because she's not interested in you anymore. Because she's with Jesse and you don't want to be left alone" She fired back almost straight away. I narrowed my eyes. Had I been the reason for all of their arguing the past two days? My guess was yes, when Finn said

"Why do you have to bring Rachel into this? So I got a little jealous when she started hanging out with Jesse but it's not like that now. I want to be with you…I love you?" He whispered. It came as an unsure question and I wondered whether he was reassuring Quinn or himself. There she went with that noise again.

"You love Rachel, Finn." She said, confidence radiating out of her voice. I suddenly felt guilty. Finn should be with Quinn. He _chose _Quinn. If it were four months ago I would have rejoiced at the chance of getting him back but I had my own guy to get back. Finn didn't respond to Quinn and so she just said. "It's over…"

I heard distant footsteps from the opposite side of the corridor from where the bathroom was and that would have been my cue. But I was frozen. I didn't want to go out to an available Finn only to break his heart. I sighed. Do not be a weak link. You are strong. You are Rachel Berry. I inhaled a heap of oxygen before stepping out of the bathroom with my IPod in hand. Finn had his back to me and so I just walked past him, expecting him to call me back or tell me he loved me. But he never. He just stood there and in a way, I was kind of thankful for that. Forgetting what I had just heard, I decided to act as if nothing had happened and waltzed over to the corner of the stage, just behind the curtain. People were starting to take their seats even though the show didn't start for another 30 minutes. I saw Jesse helping people who were confused about what seat they should be seated at and eventually he saw me too. He smiled and waved before disappearing behind the entrance doors. I was disappointed. I didn't even get to wave back or even smil-

"Boo" Said a voice from behind me. Typical Jesse, such a tease. I smiled as he put his arms around my waist from behind.

"Hm. I wonder who that could be…" I spun around and tilted my head. "Oh it's just you" He giggled slightly, our faces inches apart. I could tell he had this sudden urge to kiss me…I sure did for him. But I overcome the urge and fiddled with my hair, until I realised how pathetic I must have looked and stopped. He laughed and pressed his body against mine. It wasn't at all sexual it was just him wanting to be close to me, and I didn't mind at all. His face was serious. I looked over his shoulder and saw no one. I would kiss him. Without any judgmental stares. I didn't care what anyone thought of course, but I just couldn't handle it. I put my hand on Jesse's neck. Something I had never done with a boy. My hands had always stayed straight at my side. A small smile touched his lips at my touch. Excitement and sincerity flickered in his eyes. I leaned in closer. I felt his cool breathe on my face. It was brilliant. I was pulling him closer to me. His hands locked on my waist as I rested my body against the black wall that was just next door to the stage. I felt his soft lips gently brush my upper lip both of our eyes closed… and then suddenly.

"Hey!" A voice full of fury echoed through the deserted stage wings. I felt Jesse's frustration. I was frustrated too. He pulled away unwillingly but left his hands around my hips protectively. We both stood together. It was kind of like a united front, like when a celebrity couple you know are a couple go out in public for the first time.

"Yes Finn?" I said confidently. Seriously. Why was he being like this? Quinn was right. He just didn't want to be alone. Finn was stumped for words. Now that he had stopped us making out he didn't know what else to say. Then his eyes narrowed and a glimmer of bitterness flashed in his eyes.

"Aren't you supposed to be working with the other employees?" He said through gritted teeth as if reminding me that Jesse was a no one and that everything he said he was going do, everything he was going to achieve he hadn't. I didn't care though. Jesse had changed for the better and that's why I found myself falling in love with him again…

Jesse smiled and looked down at me. He placed a quick kiss on my cheek. I blushed and fluttered my eyelashes. I felt the electricity still rushing through me from even as he pulled away. He nodded politely at Finn before disappearing through the exit door. I narrowed my eyes at the tall male in front off me as he looked somewhat ashamed that Jesse hadn't retaliated. That he had been the bigger man. I arced and eyebrows in his direction and he rolled his eyes.

"Well?" I asked arms folded tapping a foot impatiently. Finn was making his way towards me. He better not be thinking about trying anything because if he is I will perform some major toe stampage. He just stuttered and finally sighed.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head and stormed away. I had to warm my vocal chords…again. We had a show to do.

* * *

><p>Mercedes sang the last huge note as usual on the Avril Lavigne song as the audience started to applaud us. We took a bow our hands connected and ran off the stage waving. The adrenaline was exhilarating. I was smiling hugely as the crowd were still clapping and chanting new directions. We all squealed and jumped. Then my world went from amazing to terrible. A pair of hands spun me around and a pair of lips crashed against mine. At first I thought it was Jesse and smiled at the shock, until I recognised the lips. A kiss I was too familiar with even now four months later. Finn gripped his hand at the bottom of my back as he pulled me closer towards him. I pushed him away and wiped my lip. He looked hurt and confused.<p>

"Come on Rachel! Everything can be back the way they were. I miss you" Finn said as if he were pleading, begging. I was shocked. I shook my head.

"Why can't you just be happy for me…" It wasn't a question but a fact. Finn would never be happy and I for one was sick and tired. He had played me so much. Quinn, me, Quinn, me Quinn. He had to make his freaking mind up. He now looked embarrassed and ashamed at his impulsive actions. I couldn't deal with this. Not now. Not tonight. I ran. Away from him and away from the Glee club. Mr Schue noticed and started shouting my name. I ignored him running as fast as I could. I was outside now, random people congratulating me on my brilliant performance. I tried to be polite and thanked them but the fresh air had knocked me out and I now felt as if I were being pulled in the direction of Jesse's apartment. I needed him. Now more than ever. I was done with little high school games. I wanted the man I loved back in my life and for a while I thought that man was Finn but I realised now that it was in fact Jesse. That shade of grey, that small piece of emptiness it always belonged to him. It had stayed with him when he left. It was pouring down outside and I didn't think to collecting my coat so I was running around in the pouring rain. That's all I remember though. The rain. The rest of the journey was a blur and within half an hour of racing around street corners and asking for directions I finally found myself knocking on the door of Jesse's apartment. I knew he would be home. I remember him saying how he was only doing half a shift tonight so I wasn't surprised to see him stunned to see me. Stunned in a happy way though. I smiled and he returned my smile whilst gesturing for me to come in…

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><p>Puck's POV.<p>

After Rachel's dramatic little runaway show I had decided to do it. I inhaled a breath of oxygen and walked over to a saddened Quinn who was standing alone. I would tell her and tell her good. Tell her how wrong it was to give our baby away, tell her that she still had a chance to be part of her life, tell her that I was part of her life and that I wanted her to be so much with me. Beth deserved that at least. Rachel's mom was very adamant on us being there for Beth and being able to watch her as she grows up. I stood in front of Quinn who sighed in frustration at my presence.

"Quinn I-"

"What? You've come to rub it in my face? Well here, I'll just say it. You were right. There. Finn and I didn't last just like you said!" She fumed. I was confused.

"You and Finn broke up?" I said seriously. She seemed slightly taken aback at first. I was never serious. Not with her anyway. She made a sound of disgust. It pained me to see her hurt. And by douche bag of the century.

"As if you didn't already know…" She breathed before dragging her feet away, a small crystal falling from her right eye as she did. I was so pissed off. Why the hell did she have this effect on me? I should just be getting on with my own life but every time I see her I realise just how desperate I am to get her back. She was internally hurt. But I was internally destroyed. I felt numb half the time and that's because the depression waved through my blood all because of her. I had been patient. I had waited long enough. Noah Puckerman, you need to let her go…


	7. Chapter 7

"Thank you…I'm sorry to just, come here like this" I softly murmured as I walked through the door of Jesse's apartment. It was then I realised Jesse was in grey sweats and a plain white t-shirt. I would have been shocked that the look didn't make him look like a complete hobo but surprisingly…it made him look even sexier. He shut the door behind him as I stopped checking him out. He smiled warmly at me before shaking his head.

"It's no problem at all. Do you want a hot drink? We'll talk about it" He knew me so well. He strutted over to the kitchen. I followed him like a puppy and bit my lip.

"Actually do you have something stronger?" I whispered. Jesse stopped in the middle of taking two mugs from his cupboard slightly confused. His expression then turned sincere as he traded the mugs for wine glasses.

"That bad huh?" I didn't reply and that only made him think it was worse. He poured the red wine into the glasses and stopped half way. Handing me my wine he then took my free hand and lead me over to the sofa. Once we were sat down I started talking. I told him everything and it felt like I had fully opened up to him finally. I told him about feeling insecure, left out and just not part of Glee Club anymore just someone that sings the lead. I also told him about tonight, when Finn kissed me. His seemed saddened by this. Finn had always been competition to Jesse and he didn't like the idea of loosing me to him, not again. Then I told him that's when I ran here and he seemed a little more relaxed.

"It's just…I don't know. I was supposed to be happy that Finn wanted me back. That he'd actually chosen me. But I just couldn't because..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I couldn't say it out loud. Not yet. Jesse cleared his throat and took my now empty wine glass.

"Why don't I get you another drink?"

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><p>Puck's POV.<p>

"Okay guys, I have no idea where the hell Rachel is. Anyone got any ideas?" Mr Schuester said for about the sixth time, panicking. No one seemed necessarily interested. It was then I remembered just a couple of hours ago when she tried to help me, she wanted to help me and I refused her. And now here we were. Her "Friends" not caring whether she's gone. My hands turned into fists as I stood by Mr Schuester.

"I have to say" I started; everyone looked up with furrowed brows. "I'm disappointed that you all don't seem to give a crap that one of our friends whether it's Rachel or not is out in New York alone! We're a team guys. All for one, one for…Yeah just whatever. But if you're all just going to stand here and do nothing…Well we're not exactly a team then are we?" I spoke. Everyone had some sort of guilty expression except of course Quinn.

"We all know where she is though. She's with Jesse" She said emotionless. I shook my head. I knew she was with Jesse like everyone else but what if they were all wrong.

"No, we all think she's with Jesse. What if she forgotten where he lives and is lost? Or what if she's been beat up at the back of a club? What if something really terrible has happened to her?" I questioned them. They just looked at me. No one thought I could care about someone even Rachel. But I sure as hell could. A silence hung in the air and that pissed me off even more. I raised my hands in defeat. "Fine. All of you can just stand here and do nothing but I sure as hell wont" I almost yelled before storming past Finn, bumping into him on purpose on my way out. He was no man. If he was he wouldn't try to protect his pride and act like a freaking man!

I was expecting them to follow me, call my name or tell me to stop. No. The silence continued and before I knew it I was outside the now empty theatre with no clue on where to start. Should I go left? Or should I go right? My eyebrows knitted together in confusion and I decided to just go left. I had changed into my usual baggy jeans and black t-shirt after my little conversation with Quinn but it wasn't enough to keep me dry from this horrible rain. Come on Puckerman. If I were Rachel Berry…where would I be? I asked myself, forgetting the fact she would probably be with Jesse and I had no clue where he lived. I focussed. Really focussed. A Broadway show? Maybe Jesse took her to one of those…whatever one of those was. I rolled my eyes. If only I knew Rachel. Then it would be easier to find her. I sighed and gave up. It was a pathetic try but I knew it was hopeless. Instead I entered a liquor store and bought a crate of wine coolers with my fake ID. They didn't ask if it was real or fake. They never do. I thanked the cashier lady and took a wine cooler from the bag, biting the cap of with my teeth, a talent I have always been proud off. I stayed around by the hotel so I didn't get lost, and just drank the wine coolers. It's not like I had anything else to do. I couldn't get laid anymore. I couldn't get girls and it was all because I was in love with another girl. I gritted my teeth together. Even her name was a buzz kill. Quinn. Goosebumps arose on my arms and my hairs stuck on the back of my neck. My body jolted. I needed a distraction. Badly. My mind then randomly wondered to what Rachel was up to.

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><p>Rachel's POV.<p>

My head was spinning slightly. This was my fifth glass of wine and I was getting a little drunk. I giggled as Jesse told me stories about him busting on street corners and his first day of work at the theatre. Such an ordinary life for such an extraordinary boy. I just smiled and laughed, happy that I was graced with his presence…or him with mine since I came here first. Then I did something totally out of character. Jesse was in the middle of another one of his fascinating stories and I just kissed him. His shock vibrated through me like a school bell but he was soon as willing as I was. Jesse wasn't drunk. He was far from drunk. It then came to my mind that I wanted more than just a kiss from him. I wanted all of him, right now. I got up from my position next to him and placed myself on his lap, circling him with my legs. I felt his hesitation but ignored it. I mean seriously it's not like he hasn't done this before. Or was it that he knew I had never done this before? Oh I just didn't care. I just wanted him. His hands softly stroked my thighs as things were getting hungry. An overwhelming feeling of desire sparked within the both of us. It was then my hands trailed down his chest and fiddled with the bottom of his t-shirt. I was about to slowly lifted the light fabric over his head when suddenly he pulled away from the kiss. My hands froze. I looked at him in confusion, breathless and slightly panting due to that kiss. Jesse's eyes were just so…sad. But why? Had I done something wrong?

"Did I do something wrong?" I echoed my thoughts. Jesse let out a small laugh whilst shaking his head.

"No…no you didn't" He mumbled as if he was remembering the last time he'd kissed someone like that. I smiled. So this was just a breathe pause. I leaned in to kiss him. He pulled away. My eyes burnt with tears as I gritted my teeth.

"What's wrong?" I asked both angry and hurt, but most of the time the anger was just there to cover the hurt. Jesse shook his and lifted me off him. He took one of my hands

"Rachel. I want to. Okay. Trust me, I really want to" He started. If he "really wanted to" why didn't he just do it? He continued. "But I can't. I can't do that to you, not when you're vulnerable like this and when there's a chance you won't remember in the morning" He paused again, lifting his hand to wipe the droplet of liquid that had now fallen from my eye. "I want your first time to be special, and with someone you are certain you want to be with. Not some drunken night with your… _almost lover_" He whispered near the end. I had to say I was shocked. I viciously shrugged his hand off mine and stood up from the sofa. I stormed over to the door. Tonight has just been disappointment after disappointment and I was so tired of feeling like crap about myself because no one wants me. Tonight wasn't supposed to be like that. Tonight was supposed I was supposed to be happy. But I guess I'm just in for a life of this. Depending on no one but myself. I had hold of the door knob and twisted it. It was then I felt hot hands on my waist. I knew it was Jesse, I mean who else could it have been. I didn't turn around. I just froze. Another tear fell from my eye. Why did I even think for one moment that it was possible I could be happy? Jesse's lips were by my ear now, his arms around my stomach pulling me closer to him.

"Just because I don't want to…do that doesn't mean you have to leave" He breathed out. I shook my head.

"Just because I'm younger than you, doesn't mean that I'm a child" I mocked while I pushed his hands away and turned to face him. "I can make my own decisions and if they turn out to be bad decisions then I'll deal with the consequences myself…" I said between cries. I then walked calmly, inhaling deep breathes as the midnight air touched every inch of me. I was cold and sad and I just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep and never see Jesse again.

By the time I had got to the hotel it was almost one in the morning and I had sobered up. I carried my heels in my hand. They were only small but I had been walking all night in them and I could feel them blistering my poor feet. The hotel lobby was empty so I just dragged my feet to the elevator and went to my room. I was walking down the long corridor fidgeting in my small purse to find my hotel swipe key. I found it, and just as I was about to open the door a voice stopped me. "Rough night?" Asked Puck. Puck was sitting on the floor and starring up at the ceiling as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Eventually he looked at me. He had been drinking. I could tell by the puffiness of his eyes. I smiled warmly and let my door shut. "The roughest…you?" I replied. He nodded in agreement.

Puck then lifted something from his other side. A wine cooler. He held it up.

"I have one left. Wanna share?" I fluttered my eyelashes at this unbelievable scene. I walked over to Puck after a long deliberation with myself on whether it was a good idea, and sat opposite him leaning against the wall. He passed me the wine cooler that he had just opened and I sighed before take it and swigging a huge gulp, loving the sensational tickle is gave me as it went down. I then passed it back to Puck, who then mirrored my motion. Puck starred into the glass as if admiring its existence. He was sad. No he was worse than sad. He was hurt. I didn't blame him. I knew it still pained him to think about Beth. I think I was the only who could see it. He is a brilliant actor as I have credited him for many times, but some things are just impossible to hide. Puck inhaled a deep breath of oxygen.

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered, letting my head fall against the wall. Before answering Puck let out a humourless laugh.

"Lots of things…you?" He replied. I simply shrugged.

"Same. You want to talk about it?"

Puck gave me a look. Just hours ago I had gave him the option of opening up and here I am a second time. This time I knew he wanted to. Needed to. He downed another gulp of wine before answering my question.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm in love and she doesn't love me back. Poor, _poor_ little me" He laughed. Puck had obviously been drinking all night which was probably the main reason we were even having this conversation. I laughed slightly, taking the wine cooler from his hand and taking a small sip before letting out a tiny hiccup.

"Let me guess. Her name is JLo? Beyonce? Katy Perry?" I asked jokingly not expecting the answer that escaped his mouth next.

"Her name is Quinn Fabray actually…" He whispered. I froze. The shock was overwhelming. I let out a huge amount of oxygen that I had been holding for about three minutes and handed the wine cooler back to Puck, therefore he took another gulp. He closed his eyes at the sensation of the liquid travelling down his throat and then starred back at me with eyes I had never seen before. These eyes were full of hopelessness and regret. "You know" He started. "I visit Beth, every week. She even said my name last time I went to see her…I mean obviously she said mama first but that's expected I guess…" I shivered at the thought of my mother being happy with Quinn's baby but yet she couldn't be with me. I simply blinked before replying.

"Wow. He feels" I said taking the wine cooler from him, and raising it. As if appreciating the fact that I knew all along. Puck could feel. A lot more than the average person. When he was angry, he was infuriated. When he was sad, he was desolate. When he was lonely he was isolated. "Kudos to you" I said before gulping down yet another huge amount of wine. Puck chuckled snatching it from my hands.

"So what about you and that St. James kid?" He whispered raising his eyebrows. I blushed. He did open up to me. I guess I kind of owed him. I just shrugged slightly.

"I love him…and I think he loves me…but our lives are too different now" I whispered, coming to the realisation that a romance between Jesse and I may never be possible. Tears stung in my eyes. But I wouldn't cry. Not in front of Puck. Not in front of anyone. Puck simply shook his head before speaking.

"I don't believe that. You guys are practically meant for each other. You'll work it out Rachel"

"How do you know?" My voice croaked. Puck smiles appreciatively.

"Because I know you" My stomach fluttered. Perhaps this was the start of a very beautiful friendship between Noah and me. Pucks eyes drifted down to the now empty wine cooler. We both giggled, I then looked at my watch. The small hand was creeping ever so slowly up to the two. I inhaled a large amount of oxygen before yawning widely.

"I think it's time we both go to bed. We have to kill the performance tomorrow. Or…today" I said whilst standing up, extending a hand to help him up. A mischievous grin appeared within his features.

"Or we could…make out?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Seriously? You have just been…" I stopped myself as a chuckle escaped Pucks lips. I joined in laughing with him and knelt down. I placed a light kiss on his unshaven face. "Goodnight Noah" I whispered before jumping up and retrieving my door key from my small purse. Before the door closed on the corridor I heard the small sound of a vulnerable, child like Noah Puckerman say,

"Sweet dreams Rachel…"

I smiled and was now in the room to see a perfect (as always) looking Quinn sleeping peacefully. I switched on the small lamp and smiled. It amazed me how someone could look so gorgeous just while sleeping. I shook the insecurity out of my mind and traded the damp white dress for my teddy bear pyjamas. I was tired and desperately wanted to sleep. Before jumping into bed I realised the red light flashing on my blackberry signifying I had a message. My stomach fluttered as the text message was from Jesse. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Where were you?" A voice called from across the room. Quinn was now sitting up rubbing her eyes and stretching, waiting for me to answer. I jumped in sheer shock from the outburst of worry in her voice. It was then I considered the fact that she may be sleep walking or talking so just ignored her and placed my cell phone on the bed side table. "Don't pretend like you can't hear me" She said harshly and then, by the annoyance in her voice I knew she was most definitely awake. I sighed.

"I was with Jesse. There." I finally said. A silence clung in the air at my equally harsh reply. Quinn patted her bed sheets down and suddenly seemed wide awake. She sat cross legged, a sincere look on her face.

"I went out looking you know?" Was all she said? A small sentence that, but it caught my attention. I narrowed my eyebrows. Quinn rolled her eyes, a light smile touching her perfect red lips. "I was worried okay" She said and shrugged. I smiled, although I knew the smile didn't match my saddened eyes. I nodded at her.

"Thank you"

She smiled back and started shuffling around in her bed as she lay back down. I remained leaning against the headboard, unable to stop the next thing that rolled of my tongue.

"I'm sorry about you and Finn" I whispered. Quinn didn't move. She just whispered back.

"It's not your fault"

Is it possible that the outcast and the cheerleader just had a conversation that didn't involve arguing and screaming? Yes it was. Maybe I could get along with Quinn. We weren't that much different after all. I then remembered the text message. Fear overwhelmed me as an ugly churn evolved in my stomach, growing wild as I continued to stare at the received message. My heart race increased. My chest tightened.

I clicked the delete button.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So hey guys...a really sad chapter. It hurts me to say that the story is coming to an end as there will probably just be one more chapter after this and an epilogue. Hope you guys enjoy it, please don't kill me. P.S I suggest before you read this you listen to Faith Hill-There You'll Be. The songs a big part of the chapter and well, yeah you'll see. Enjoy, review etc. Love yas!**

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><p>"Rachel! I know you're awake! Open this door right now!" I heard the pounding of a furious Mr Schuester on the room door. I stiffly walked to the door, I actually wasn't awake. Not caring about my presentation I opened the door timidly. The teacher looked embarrassed as he realised his accusation of me being awake were false, but still remained furious with lines dented in his forehead. "I can't believe you were so irresponsible Rachel. You're the leader of this group, you're suppose to be setting an example and running off like that and…disappearing for the night? That is <em>not <em>setting a good example. I'm very disappointed Rachel" He fumed. I rolled my eyes, completely out of character and stretched my arms behind my head.

"Good morning to you too Mr Schuester" I murmured. Mr Schue's eyes almost fell out of his sockets and so I replied to his small rant. "But, will all due respect sir, you don't know how I've been feeling the past couple of months. I'm not _part _of this _group _anymore. I'm an accessory that wins us competitions. The whole damn club rely on me too much!" I hadn't meant to shout, but I did. The teacher looked calm now, maybe even sincere. His eyes wondered to the fluffy carpeted floor revealing his long, light brown eyelashes to create dark shadows under his eyes.

"I'm not an idiot, Rachel. Of course I know what's been going on with you…" He whispered before looking back at me. I then realised what he was saying. It's the same with him. He recently revealed to us that April wanted him to perform on Broadway and that he wasn't going. I didn't understand it at first but I sure do now. The only time he is ever wanted is for his talent. Whether I liked it or not, Mr Schue and I were quite similar in that department. Mrs Pillsbury makes him feel…wanted, loved. Which it exactly the same with me and Jesse. He sighed. "I didn't call your parents. Everyone suspected you were with Jesse…were you? With Jesse?" He asked. I nodded guiltily. "Well we were all very worried" _I doubt that. _"But I suppose that…I can let it go" He said. I let out a breath of relief.

He patted his arm on my shoulder and asked about my song decision. I knew what my decision was, since I barley slept last night I spent my time wisely and picked a song to replace the Fireflight one. I had to admit it wasn't just a song decision, but a decision that involved where mine and Jesse's relationship would go. Mr Schuester was thrilled with my song decision but concerned that it was a difficult choice as we didn't have any music. I offered to sing it acapella until a presence appeared at the side of us, clearing his throat Noah stood looking guilty due to his overhearing as he leaned against the wall. He was obviously hungover, it was then I wondered why I wasn't. I shook the thought from my head, grateful that I wasn't hungover and continued to stare at Puckerman curiously and suspiciously waiting for him to speak. "I can learn the song. I'll play it on my guitar if someone's able to get the chords of the internet or something for me?" He asked. I smiled, nodding and accepting his offer.

"I'll get to it then. Thank you…Puck" Mr Schue said patting his shoulder before scurrying off to his room for the musical chords. Puck stood there for a moment until he heard the door of our teachers room slam shut. He then let his shoulder hunch over more and rolled his eyes.

"I feel like hell" He whispered before lifting his head up to my face. A light smile touched my lips before I spoke.

"Why did you just do that?" He looked confused. I giggled. "Why did you just offer to save the song?" He smiled, even though it took effort and I appreciated it.

"I was actually on my way to your room. You know…to thank you for last night? Anywho I overheard that you had to do it acapella and" He pointed at himself. "Here I was, superman to the rescue and all that" He joked, blinking droopily. I hugged him softly. He hadn't expected the hug and honestly neither did I. I pulled away quickly, realising my physical state. Puck and I laughed; I then excused myself and retreated to the bedroom where I would get changed. Before I shut the door fully I whispered "Oh and Puck?" He turned around lazily. "If I were you? I'd tell her" I said in a hushed tone whilst pointing my thumb behind me. He inhaled sharply before smiling gratefully. I pushed the door shut and then went to get changed.

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><p>Our dresses for our final performance were beautiful. Short, black, classy and sparkly. Oral Intension had just finished a pretty amazing cover of Usher's Yeah, giving us dirty looks as they brushed past us. There was a short interval before our performance which just made me anxious and very annoyed. I sat on a stool biting my nails, a habit that switched on and off depending on my feelings. I suddenly stopped nibbling on the hard nail and turned to my left. It was Jesse. He stood there, a sad expression on his face as he looked down at me with his hands shoved in his work trouser pockets. "I just came to wish you good luck. Wrapped in your Arms is a beautiful song. I'm sure you'll do it justice" He nodded.<p>

"Thank you, but we're actually not doing that anymore. I chose a different song" My heart sank a little, the overwhelming fear and pain flushing through my lungs and up to my heart. Jesse looked confused. I stood up, our eye level wasn't even due to my height but I didn't feel like I was being looked down on when I did this.

"What song?" He asked a sense of realisation in his tone. He knew the song would be dedicated to him and would behold the message of where our relationship would go. Whether it would stop, start etc. I smiled half-heartedly, tears filling up in my eyes. I cleared my throat and swooped my side fridge more so to the side.

"You'll see" And with that the stage workers directed me behind the curtain and Jesse disappeared. The first part was simple; the spotlight on me and Noah behind me on a wooden stool playing the guitar, very peaceful and calm and simply beautiful. My heart pounded taking one last look at Jesse who remained at the side of the stage, a curious smile possessing his features. I smiled sadly. Worry flashed in his eyes. The voiceover started, introducing us. Puck took his seat, giving me a small wink before the curtain rose. Before I knew it I was bang in the middle. Puck started gently strumming the guitar and just before my cue I glanced over to still see Jesse there. I smiled at him before I started the song.

"_When I think back__on these times__,__  
>And the dreams we left behind.<br>I'll be glad 'cause, I was blessed to get,  
>to have you in my life.<br>When I look back  
>On these days<br>I'll look and see your face  
>You were right there for me<em>" Tears burnt in my eyes as I said the truthful, pure words of my emotions.

"_In my dreams__I'll always see you soar above the sky.  
>In my heart there'll always be a place for you,<br>for all my life" _

A tear fell. I hope no one noticed. My heart sank like an anchor in the sea.

_"I'll keep a part of you with me,  
><em>_and everywhere I am there you'll be_…" I inhaled sharply, preparing for where we moved the heartbreaking bridge of the song.

"_'Cause I always saw in you__my light, my strength  
>And I want to thank you now for all the ways<br>you were right there for me  
>you were right there for me for always<em>"

I slowed down, letting another tear slip out as I licked my dry lips, looking to my right to see Jesse's cheeks sparkling faintly in the outburst of sudden light on the stage. I sniffled slightly; hopefully my tears would come across as passionate.

_"In my dreams __I'll always see you soar above the sky.  
>In my heart there'll always be a place for you,<br>for all my life"  
>I'll keep a part of you with me,<br>and everywhere I am there you'll be_…"

I continued to look at Jesse. Our eyes never left each others as I finished of the song by repeating the line a couple of times over adding a fancy shaking note on. When the music stopped, there was intensity in the air. My chest throbbed from my hard, uneven breathing. The audience started clapping, one by one, cheering and standing up. I had received a standing ovation. I should feel thrilled. But I didn't. I didn't because Jesse wiped his face and swiftly turned around walking away. The worst thing was how hopeless I felt. I couldn't run after him and explain. I chose the Faith Hill song, for reasons I could only explain to him. I inhaled. The show must go on. So instead of dwelling for that moment, I put on my best golden smile bowed. Puck threw his guitar and a member of staff caught it casually. The rest of Glee Club came out, the country song started and we received yet another standing ovation…

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><p>I bit my lip as I crossed my fingers. The winner was about to get announced. It was, again, between New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline. "And the winner is…" The speaker announced, smiling widely as he opened the gold envelope. "Vocal Adrenaline!" A cheer escaped the audience as Vocal Adrenaline won their 5th Nationals award. Everything was numb. We didn't win. Hell, we didn't even place. We just dragged our feet of the stage and dwelled all the way to our dressing rooms. I took a seat on a small chair next to a little wooden table that beheld a beautiful light pink rose. I starred at it for a while, before Mr Schuester began speaking.<p>

"I'm so sorry guys…I really thought we had a chance of winning" He said, slapping his hands against his sides. I removed my eyes from the rose and looked around the room. Everyone just looked distraught. I closed my eyes, leaning my fingers against my forehead. A silent lingered in the depressed room. Finally, someone broke that silence.

"So we didn't win" Puckerman started. I re-opened my eyes to see him stood up, looking proud. "Only…we did. We won in here" He placed his clasped hand the left side of his chest were his heart was. "We got to nationals and got here together. To me, that's bigger than some huge-ass trophy that would only take up more of our rehearsal space. What I'm trying to say is that being sad is just wasting time. I say, we go to that after party with our heads held high and celebrate getting this far together" I smiled at his wise words. Everyone came to the same realisation as I did. We shouldn't be angry or upset. Sure, we were incredible tonight and we didn't win but that doesn't mean we should dwell. We should, in a way, be happy, happy for the experience and the taking part.

It was then the blonde ex cheerleader bounced up from her seat and put her arm around Puck's waist. "When did you get so wise?" She whispered. Puckerman revealed his best full on smile as invisible love hearts appeared in his eyes at Quinn's sudden kindness (and beauty). Everyone's spirits were suddenly raised and everyone stood up, making their way to the after party. I, however had other plans. "Rachel? You're coming right?" Finn asked, extending his hand. I just starred at it for a moment, which is when he realised. He let his hand fall to his side. "I know you sang that song about Jesse"

"Finn I-"

"No, let me finish" He held up his hands for me to stop speaking. "I love you. Okay. And if part of me loving you is letting you go then I'll do it…You're not in love with me anymore and I want the best for you" He simply said before smiling. "I'll tell Mr Schuester you're not feeling too good and went back to the hotel" I held my breath. My heart skipped a beat. I jumped onto Finn hugging him hard.

"Thank you…" I said. He hugged back and for a moment, a very _very _short moment I considered staying, and not going after Jesse and being with Finn. But I was past that the moment when Finn pulled away and my mind cleared. I smiled, thanking him again and ran. I ran like hell. I knew exactly where Jesse was. I had like, like a sixth sense or something. Jesse was always one for the dramatics such as myself, so I went to the one place he just _had _to be. He wasn't one to drink down his feelings, and sometimes when his feelings were so magnified to the core he wouldn't even sing our his emotions. He would absorb in them. It's the only way he believed in getting rid of it. So, I ran. When the view of the Statue of Liberty came into my vision I slowed down panting due to my sprint. I gulped down a huge amount of salvia before entering.

He was there. In the exact spot he brought me just the other night. Only this time there were a few people here and he had his hands clasped looking out of the opened stone. The breeze separating his shining curls forcing him to look even more like a star. And the sunset backdrop wasn't making this any easier. I approached him and I knew he knew I was there, even if he didn't look at me. I stood next to him, looking out at the wonderful view. For the first time in my life I wish I was an artist, or at least possessed some sort of skills in which I could draw or paint. I sighed. The breeze was nice. _Today _had been nice, well, weather wise. Jesse never spoke. He wasn't in the mood for talking, neither was I. Instead I just tucked my head into his shoulder. I felt him stiffen at first but then his body relaxed. They say you should always cease the moment. Well that's what we were doing now. Spending time together, _ceasing the moment. _Saying goodbye was irrelevant right now. Right now…right now the only thing that mattered was each other. I didn't want to let go, neither did Jesse. It was the right thing to do. Eventually Jesse slipped his hand around my waist, forcing my body to collide with his creating a more comfortable loving atmosphere. Our gazes stayed on the setting sun and before we knew it, it was gone. The moon shone down glittering off the calm waters. I didn't know how late it was. Did I care? No particularly. I'll stay up all night to pack for tomorrows leave if I have too. But for now, I just wanted to stay here with Jesse. Forever…my eyes welled up for about the hundredth time. Forever wasn't a possibility when it came to us. It was just a dark, dismal but true fact. A cold lone tear glided down my right cheek as I pulled away from Jesse's hold. We faced each other. The space around us was almost empty now, and all the tourists had retreated to the very top for the _best _view possible. I saw it, in Jesse's eyes. I sniffled, taking his hand in mine.

"Do you wanna know _why _I sang the Faith Hill song?" I asked rhetorically. "Because…you know as well as I do that, our lives, are too different now. It would never work. It's not like I can come down to New York every weekend or, you could come down to Ohio and it's proven that 67% of long distant relationships don't work and…well anyway…I just" I paused, shutting my eyes tight and letting a tear spill out. "I have to let you go" I whispered. Jesse's hands squeezed mine, as I inhaled sharply and lifted my face. He smiled softly, understandably.

"What am I gonna do without you?" He breathed, liquid seeping from his eyes now. I shook my head. I couldn't think of anything else to do other than hug him. His question sounded more like a plea, a beg that secretly said _Just Stay… _

"You're Jesse St. James. You'll be fine…" I whispered into his ear as I grabbed his neck pulling him as close as what was possible. His lips brushed against my neck. I felt liquid tingle down to my collar bone, realising that he was still crying. I rubbed his back soothingly. We stayed like that for a while. Eventually he pulled away.

"I'll come back for you. At graduation, when you make your speech for Glee Club? You can count on me being there in the audience. _I promise_" He said determinedly as his gentle hands cradled my face, brushing my hair out of my eyes. I laughed slightly. His eyes were excited and I knew he was serious. I also knew that in a couple of months when he's found someone else, someone he can be in a real relationship with, he will have forgotten all about me. I will be a faint memory, just his silly high school sweetheart. I shook my head and placed my hands over his on my face.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Jesse" I said. Jesse shook his head, the fact that he didn't reply to my snappy statement. Jesse's thumb washed a tear away from my face. I inhaled, more tears streaking down. "It's been three days. I just…don't know how we got here" I breathed, my voice crackling. I made a vow to myself after Finn broke up with me that I would never cry in front of a boy again. I had broken that vow. My heartbeat sped up dramatically. Jesse nodded. He was just as hysterical as I was.

"I love you, Jesse. I love; I love who you've become and how you've matured. You've grown…in ways I probably never will. And before…before we properly say goodbye I just thought that you should know that, there will _always _be a part of me that feels that way about you. Forever" I said, choking on the last word. Jesse's lips were slightly parted as our foreheads collided. He shut his eyes tightly, yet more tears seeping out. He breathed in oxygen as his beautiful, glazed eyes re-opened. My words were truthful to the core. I did love Jesse I did. I wanted to be with him, and if such a thing were possible I would move to New York and live with him, never leaving his side. No matter who I end up with during senior year or college, no matter who I get married to have kids with or grow old with, there will always be a part of me that belongs to him.

"I love you so much…" He replied, his hands stalking my body on his way down to my waist as he spoke the words, pulling my hips into his. It was while before we separated but ultimately our bodies detached and we just looked at each other.

He leaned forwards, his nose brushing against mine before our lips made contact. The kiss was beautiful, one I would remember until the day I die. I let my tongue mix softly with his as a wrapped my arms tight around his neck. The taste of salt water entered the kiss shortly after it started. Passion radiated through our bodies. Words weren't needed. This, right here, was our real goodbye…


End file.
